KEEP A CLOSE EYE ON YOUR TEENAGER!

what is going onThis article is about the experiences of a teenage girl in africa. This topic is one that is spoken of but it is not emphasized on. In my opinion, there is need to watch your teenage daughter. Not in a weird stalky way but just to make sure everything is fine. I will explain why. Growing up, I went through and did so many things that could have been avoided if I had a parent i felt I could talk to.  Of course, I am responsible for all my actions but a little guidance would make a big difference. Maybe this wish is too far-fetched in an african society, a society which seems to put a wall between children and parents. In african family settings,atleast mine, your mother or father is not your friend but your provider. You ought to fear them.Parents have no business mingling with their children. In fact, in my culture, the education that is supposed to be given to a girl when she matures, when she  is growing up and when she is ready to be a wife is not given by the mother but by an aunt. Preferably someone not part of the family. This mentality is the recipe to a disaster.

Before I begin to tell you how I spent my teenage years, I must say that some of the experiences were necessary. Most of them avoidable. I am proud to say that I am not the same person I was. I have grown up to be a responsible young lady but some things stay with you forever that is why it is better to be safe than sorry. This article is a warning to parents but also a guide for teens that do not have anyone to talk to about such things.

I grew up very fast. Like most teenagers, I wanted to be free and do everything and anything I wanted to. I gave my life to christ at the age of thirteen. For all those who have no idea what that means, I simply accepted jesus and my personal lord and savior. This is the custom in a lot of pentecostal churches. I attended youth prayer meetings and hangouts. Everything was going well. During the same time, I  met someone through a family friend. Let’s call him Joe. Joe worked in a pharmacy then. If I remember carefully, he was about 22 years old. Joe and I exchanged numbers and he started to call me regularly.  We did this in secret because he was afraid that he would be caught by my father. By then I didn’t know but if you were caught, he could be jailed for defilement. Defilment in my country is when you have sexual relations with a female or male under the age of 16.

Almost at the same time, I also met another man. Let’s call him Victor. I can’t remember who I met first  Victor or Joe but it was almost at the same time. Victor was a taxi driver in his free time. Atleast that is what he told me. He also worked at a lodge or guest house.  Victor was almost 40 but looked very young. The first time I met him, I was escorting a  friend. He saw me and said hi. He followed me and asked for my number. I refused and took his instead. I called him after a few days later and we begun to to talk to victor and also met him a couple of times. The first few times were harmless but later we became intimate. I was resistant for the first time but later, I gave in. Victor told me that he lived with a friend. I did not ask any questions.I later found out he was married to a lady with two kids. Together, they had a daughter and he had two sons with other women. How i found out is what is interesting. I met Vicor a couple of times at school. When I asked what he was doing there, he told me that he was picking up one of his friend’s daughters. I brushed it off. One morning, I saw a classmate come out of his car with another girl at school. I carefully questioned her and she told me it was her friend’s father; the girl I saw her with. I encouraged her to find out more and she came back and told me that the girl was his step-daughter. Also that the girl’s mother and Victor had been married for  five years and had a four year old daughter. This made me sad but for some reason I kept seeing him. We continued to meet once a week in the park and speak on the phone once in a while.

At the same time, I was also seeing joe. Joe was so different from Victor I thought. He was humble and a church goer. I also became intimate with Joe, and some weekends he would pick me up and take me to his house. We were always alone when we went to his house and I never met the brother he claimed to live with. Until today, I have never met anyone from his family. Joe was such a gentleman i thought. Whenever we met, he made sure I got home safely. It is now when I have realised that we never really had a relationship . We never met in public. We never did anything else other than have sex. This went on for some time till I met another guy named Uzzi and all hell broke lose………..

 

look out for part 2

part 2

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